


Love is Lethal

by Saranghae



Series: Brothers in Arms [3]
Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Angst, Bromance, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Language, M/M, Memory Loss, Romance, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-25
Updated: 2013-11-25
Packaged: 2018-01-02 15:01:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1058180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saranghae/pseuds/Saranghae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jason will do anything to keep Nico from drowning. Absolutely anything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Falling for You

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not going to apologize for this because you asked for it.

The war was over. It was over. Gaea was still sleeping, her armies were dead. The statue of Athena was safely at Camp Half-Blood and the camps had made peace. They were free.

Nico leaned back against the side of his cabin, heaving a huge sigh and staring out over the camp. They were having a celebration of sorts. Everyone was there; all the legionaries from Camp Jupiter and the entirety of Camp Half-Blood. It was odd, seeing them all together, but satisfying. 

Nico looked up when he heard someone say his name. He frowned, instantly suspicious, when Travis and Connor walked towards him--identical shit-eating grins on their faces.

"What do you want?" Nico asked, already annoyed by whatever they had planned. 

The two laughed and looked at each other. "He hasn't even heard what we were going to say, Travis," Connor said, a mock pout on his lips. 

"How very rude," Travis replied, huffing indignantly. Nico rolled his eyes.

"Anyways," Connor continued. "What we were  _going_ to say is that you look far too dreadful for such an occasion and we've come to change that."

He produced a cup from behind his back and held it out to Nico.

The son of Hades eyed the cup suspiciously, leaning down and giving it a sniff. He recoiled instantly, scowling. "That is alcohol," he said, giving the brothers a glare. They merely grinned and nodded.

"But of course. This is a celebration! Alcohol is customary."

Nico crossed his arms. "I'm 14."

Travis shrugged. "So? I was 12 when I got drunk the first time. So much more fun when you're younger." He sniffed and looked off into the distance as if he was remembering the good old days. "Also, it's much less embarrassing to get shitfaced for the first time when you're young. When you're older it just gets sad."

Connor held the cup closer, urging Nico to take it. Nico wasn't sold on the idea.

"I do hope there isn't anything sinister going on back here."

The brothers spun around so fast that the drink sloshed over the side of the cup. Nico peeked in between them and let a small smile curl at the corner of his mouth. 

"Hi Reyna. Having fun?"

Nico had gotten close with Reyna during their journey to Camp Half-Blood. Fighting for each others lives made it easy for friendships to grow. 

Reyna hummed and eyed the brothers suspiciously. "These two bothering you, Nico?"

Nico laughed shortly. "Most definitely."

Connor pouted dramatically but Nico noticed that he was still keeping a watchful eye on Reyna. "We just wanted to see Nico have a little fun. He's always so gloomy, it's depressing."

Reyna hummed, obviously not impressed. Nico laughed softly, turning his head away as the praetor started to lecture the two boys. He stared out over the camp, taking in the forms by the fire pit. He could make out the people he knew among them. He smirked when he saw Leo do something stupid to impress the pretty girl sitting next to him--the immortal Calypso, if he'd been informed correctly. Leo himself had been promised immortality if he could prove his worth to the gods. Yeah, because being one of the 7  _children_ to save the entire world doesn't count. Nico rolled his eyes and moved his gaze to the other side of the first, his smile flickering and fading from his lips. 

Annabeth sat on Percy's lap, her fingers in his hair and her forehead pressed to his. He was smiling--so happy, so in love. Nico felt sick. 

"Connor, gimme that drink."

Reyna stopped her rant mid sentence as the three of them stared at the son of Hades in shock.

"Nico," Reyna said uncertainly, "is that a good idea?"

Nico chewed his lip and snatched the drink from Connor's hold. "Nope. Doing it anyways."

He put the cup to his lips and tilted it back, eyes closing as he grimaced and coughed. Well, that was disgusting. He took another sip. And chased that one with another.

Reyna eyed him nervously before glaring at the boys. "You better take responsibility for this," she said as Nico continued to drink, her anxiety growing. The brothers grinned at each other before looking at her and nodding. "Yes ma'am," they said in unison, each taking one of Nico's arms and leading him off in the direction of the fire pit.

Nico groaned and shook them off, following them slowly as he continued to drink, his head becoming steadily more and more clouded. This was going to be a  _fun_ night.

* * *

Okay, something was definitely up. 

Jason eyed Nico closely, furrowing his brow and losing interest in whatever was being said to him. Nico was...  _smiling_. And not that cute, innocent, shy smile that Jason caught on Nico's face sometimes. Not the creepy  _we just killed a bunch of monsters let's do it again_ smile that gave Leo the, as he described it, freaky-deakies. It was a smile. One of pure happiness and laughter that Jason had never seen on Nico's face before.

So obviously, in Jason's reasoning, there was something seriously wrong.

Perhaps Nico had been possessed. Or maybe it wasn't Nico at all, maybe it was an imposter.

"Or maybe he's drunk off his ass."

Jason yelped and practically fell out of his chair when Rachel materialized beside him and whispered in his ear.

His frown deepened when he realized what she'd said to him.

"Drunk? Seriously? Who let him near the alcohol?"

Rachel shrugged, although Jason was completely aware of the fact that she knew  _exactly_ who'd given it to him. 

"Not sure~ though you may want to keep an eye on him. Cause tonight is shaping up to be pretty spectacular."

She turned on her heels and sauntered away, hands in her back pockets. Jason blinked after her, trying to figure out what she could mean when suddenly he became aware of how incredibly  _quiet_ it was. His head snapped around and his eyes widened when he caught sight of Nico.

"Shit," he whispered.

Nico di Angelo--tortured and hurt soul, struggling with his sexuality, angry at the world Nico di Angelo--currently had his arms wrapped tightly around Percy's neck and his lips pressed to Percy's in a hard kiss.

Percy, poor soul, stood frozen. He was completely aware of Nico's crush on him because of certain, ehem, events, but Jason was well aware of the fact that he was  _not_ ready to handle being kissed by the boy in front of both of his camps. Not to mention his girlfriend. 

Jason was on his feet in seconds, walking quickly and swiftly towards the cause of the scene. He wrapped his arms around Nico's waist and plucked him away from Percy in one swift movement. 

"Whoops, looks like someone's drunk. Come on, Nico, let's get you sobered up."

He had to practically carry Nico over his shoulder to get him away fast enough, the boy was so far gone. He didn't speak a word, just scowled darkly as Jason led him away. Jason could see the wheels turning in Nico's brain as he tried to figure out what he'd just done. Jason swore softly, knowing this was not going to end very well.

* * *

Connor and Travis stared open mouthed at the scene in front of them, blinking stupidly.

They both winced when they heard someone clear their throat from behind them. They didn't need to turn to know who it was.

"Taking responsibility, are you?" Reyna said dangerously.

The brothers gulped loudly.

* * * 

It did  _not_ end well. 

Nico, after sobering up and realizing what he'd done, had disappeared. Completely this time. Not a trace left behind.

It had been three weeks since the celebration party and Jason was starting to panic. He'd even gone down to the underworld to visit Hades a couple times to see if there was any way of finding Nico. Hades had simply said that Nico would be found when he  _wanted_ to be found. Excruciatingly not helpful, thank you Hades.

Percy was blaming himself, which was so like him. But then again, Jason had pointed out  _It was kind of your fault, I mean you were the one who made him fall for you and then did jack shit about it but then again I did tell you not to say anything so I guess it's both of our faults but mainly it's Travis and Connor's faults let them rest in pieces thank you Reyna._

But then again... Jason was looking for excuses.

He groaned loudly and squirmed violently on the grass where he lay, brooding. He was so  _sick_ of this. He wished Nico would just let himself be found so Jason could tell him that it was literally  _so_ normal to embarrass yourself when getting drunk the first time and being in love with a dude was equally as normal. Well, not for everyone, but for some people it was. Jason groaned again. He was going in circles.

"Guess who I found?" 

Jason shouted in surprise and sat up so quickly he got a headrush and ended up falling back down. He blinked up at Rachel and scowled. "Can you  _not_ do that, please?"

Rachel just grinned and sat down on the grass beside him. 

"Found Nico," she said, as if it was the most casual thing in the world. "Not to hard, when you think about it. It's actually embarrassing how easy it was in the end. I can't believe he's there, really, even though it makes sense. He's so dumb sometimes."

Jason stared at her, dumbstruck, as she continued to prattle on. "Rachel!" he shouted, getting her attention. "Where is Nico?"

Rachel grinned and handed him a piece of paper. 

"Coordinates. Use them wisely~" With that she stood from the ground, brushed off her jeans, and wandered off towards the lake.

Jason was on his feet in seconds, rushing off to grab his gear. He wouldn't tell the others. He had a feeling this was something he had to do alone.

* * *

Jason flew through the musky air of the underworld, feeling incredibly drained with the effort it took to stay in the air down here. His eyes scanned the ground, looking for the demigod he sought. His eyes widened when he spotted him and he sped towards the ground, his heart in his throat. No flipping way was he doing what Jason thought he was doing.

"Don't even think about it!" he shouted as he touched down, running towards Nico and grabbing onto his arm, yanking him away from the river and into his arms. Nico struggled to get away, pulling out of Jason's grip and glowering at him.

"How did you find me?" he hissed, stepping back towards the black river behind him. Jason's hand twitched, aching to reach out for him.

"Rachel told me," Jason said, taking a step towards the demigod. "Nico, please, come with me. Step away from the river. You don't want to do this."

Nico's laugh was haunting, piercing the air with a hysterical sharp sound. "Oh really, now? And you know what I want, is that correct? Listen here, Grace, you know fuck all about me. Do you know my birthday? My favourite colour? Do you know what I dream about? Do you know what I fear? Do you even know my sister's fucking  _name_?"

Jason was at a loss for words. He  _didn't_. He couldn't even remember his _sister's name_. He honestly knew nothing about Nico.  Nothing importantly, anyways. He knew he was gay. He knew he was struggling with his sexuality and his crush on Percy. But that was... just about it.

Jason swallowed hard. "You're right," he said softly, holding his arms out in a form of surrender. "I don't know anything about you. And maybe you do want to do this. But that doesn't mean you should. Nico, I don't know what you're going through right now, but you don't have to do it alone. I don't know you, so let me get to know you. Let someone in, dude, or you'll always be alone."

Poor choice of words. Nico glared. "Fuck you, Jason Grace. This isn't going to get better just by gaining a few friends. I wasn't alone. I was perfectly fucking happy and then  _you people_ happened and my entire life got turned upside down. Not only did I lose the only person who loved me but I gained a shit ton of people who could care less about me. I was just some kid who's sister had died on a quest. I was a taboo. I was the son of Hades who couldn't keep his temper. Everyone looked at me like I was a freak."

Jason shook his head. "Nico, forgetting isn't going to make things better."

Nico laughed again and it cut Jason to the core. 

"You sure about that?" he spat, his eyes like daggers. 

Jason's chest ached. "Yes, you'll forget the bad memories, but you'll forget the good ones too. Believe me, Nico, if anyone know what it's like to get your whole existence ripped away from you, it's me. Gods, you have no idea how badly it will fuck you up. I have two lives in my head because of what Juno did to me. Are you really willing to give up everything? Just to start again?"

The look on Nico's face broke Jason's heart clean in two.

"What happy memories?" he asked softly, the desperation in his eyes palpable. Jason could almost reach out and touch his sorrow, scoop it into his hands and watch it swim in his palms.

"I don't have any happy memories any more, Jason. Everything that used to make me smile now makes me want to rip my heart out so I won't feel the pain any more. It's killing me slowly... I can't take it any more. I'm sorry, Jason. I just can't do this."

He closed his eyes and fell backwards. And Jason's whole world slowed down. 

Nico's name ripped from his throat in a scream as he lunged towards the falling boy. His fingers wrapped around his wrist just in time to yank him to his chest, holding him close in a tight hug as they both tumbled into the river Lethe.


	2. The Grace of an Angel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is it really worth it now, Nico?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sobs quietly in the corner* I'm not sorry

"I don't understand, why were they at the river in the first place?"

"Jason followed Nico there."

"But... but that's ridiculous! Nico knew what that river did, why would he go there on purpose?"

"You know perfectly well why, Percy Jackson, now stop being an idiot and use your head for once. He followed Nico there to stop him from jumping in."

"Well he did a great job of it."

"Leo!"

"What? Sorry I'm a little pissed off my best friend has lost his memory. Again!"

"Please, lord Hades sir, there must be a way to reverse this."

"Hmm, your pretty voice will do nothing to win me over, child... but there is a way."

"There is?!"

"Yes, but it is not something you will like. It is dangerous and uncontrollable. You have no idea what she will ask of you."

"She?" 

"Yes. She. The goddess of memory."

* * *

The room smelled funny.

That was the first thing he thought when he opened his eyes. It was dark in the room. And cold. He didn't know where he was... he didn't know who he was. He felt panicked inside, filled with an intense sense of deja vu. Why was this familiar? This sinking feeling that nothing was as it should be.

Looking to his left he saw the face of another boy. He had pale olive skin and a forest of jet black hair surrounding his head like a halo. He reached out to touch the boy's hair but paused when he realized his hand was already clasped tightly in the other boy's grip. He looked at their connected hands and frowned. He knew this boy, of that he was sure. He didn't know who he was, but right now he was the only thing in the world that felt right.

Slowly shifting from his spot on the cold bed, making sure not to displace the hand from his, he moved so he was kneeling beside the boy. He gently shook him with his free hand.

"Hey," he whispered. "Hey, wake up... can you tell me who I am?"

The boy slowly opened his eyes and blinked into the dim lightly. They stared at each other for a long while, taking each other in before the boy spoke.

"Only if you tell me who I am."

It was then, that they both realized how very  _wrong_ this was.

* * *

"No!"

Piper was fuming, which wasn't surprising. This was  _ridiculous_ and completely  _typical_. She glared at the straight faced goddess, grinding her teeth and trying to hold herself back from lunging at her.

"You can't do that!"

The goddess huffed and crossed her arms. "I am Mnemosyne. I can do whatever I want, child. The best part is, if I don't want you to, you won't even remember any of this!"

Piper wanted to cry she was so angry.

"I thought you were supposed to help."

Mnemosyne hummed and tapped her chin, walking back and forth in front of the crowd of children. "I will help. But nothing comes without a price, dear. I thought you would have learned this by now." She looked at Piper and grinned, her jet black eyes glinting in the fire light. "It's not much, just a small price. 5 memories each, that's all I ask. A girl's got to eat, you know."

Piper decided to ignore that last bit of information. She did  _not_ need to know that this goddess ate memories. 

"But that's... 5 of their most precious memories... they can never ever get them back if you take them."

Mnemosyne huffed indignantly and rolled her eyes. "And your other option is to do nothing and wait until they get their memories back, which could take years if it happens at all. You willing to risk that, daughter of Aphrodite?"

Piper opened her mouth to argue but stopped when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked behind her to see Percy looking at her grimly. "Piper," he whispered, "we may not have any other choice. It's not as bad as it could be, she could want all of their happy memories. She's only asking for five. Jason has loads."

"Ah yes," the goddess purred, not caring that she was not supposed to have heard the conversation. "Jason Grace. So many memories. Two lives, that's a lot to sift through. The other one, though... not nearly as many. I'd say he had... what, 12 happy memories left? Most of them he can't even remember due to him being too young. Poor thing. No wonder he jumped."

Piper winced and looked at the goddess, trying to ignore the sound of Hazel's soft attempts to hide her tears. She couldn't allow herself to get emotional. She needed to be the strong negotiator right now. She looked sharply at Hades, who had been standing quietly in the corner since the goddess had appeared. "Why didn't you do anything?" she demanded, needing someone to vent her frustration at. "You were right here! You could have stopped them! I thought you knew everything that happened in your underworld."

Hades stared at her, his anger radiating off him with such force that it almost knocked her into Percy. 

"I did not believe he would actually jump," Hades said, his voice booming around the room.

Mnemosyne whistled and smirked. "Someone's grumpy."

Hades left the room with a swish of his robes, headed towards Nico's room where the two unconscious boys had been laid. 

"This is getting us no where," Frank said angrily. "Why don't we just ask them?"

Piper frowned and looked over at Frank. "Ask them?"

Frank nodded and looked towards the door Hades had disappeared through. "The memories belong to them. It's not up to us. We should ask them... if they want to remember... given the price they'll have to pay."

"What price?"

All heads turned towards the small sound, the soft voice and big wondering eyes. For a split second, Piper didn't recognize him. She had never seen Nico look so... young. But she was distracted from the boy in seconds when she caught sight of the person who was holding his hand. "Jason!" she cried, unable to stop herself. They both looked at her, confused, before looking at each other.

"Which one of us is Jason?" Jason asked Nico, who shrugged. 

"I'm going to guess it's you," Nico said softly. Jason frowned and tilted his head to the side. "Why do you say that?"

Nico smiled and Piper almost sobbed as loud as Hazel. It was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen.

"Because you look like a Jason."

Piper wasn't sure why Nico's smile effected her so much. It was so lighthearted, so free of any kind of angst. She had never seen Nico this way before and it was like a punch in the fact. He was just a kid. An innocent little boy. He was so... _free_ like this.

Jason laughed and shrugged. "Alright. What's your name then?"

"Nico," Percy said, his voice breaking slightly. "Your name is Nico."

Nico looked at Percy and his smile wavered for a second--it was as if he had remembered Percy for a split second. She saw Frank put an arm around a shaking Hazel out of the corner of her eye. 

"That's a strange name," Nico said, the smile back. "Is it short for something?"

Percy swallowed loudly and shrugged. "Not sure... you've never told us. You're just... Nico."

"How very cute," Mnemosyne said, drawing everyone's attention back to her. "Now boys, you have a decision to make. Here is the choice. You can get your memories back. Except 5 of each of your most precious memories will be mine and you will never get them back. Or you can wait and see if you regain your memories on your own, which you might never accomplish. However those memories will still be yours to remember. Your choice."

Jason looked down at Nico and Piper could see the silent conversation going on between the two of them.

"I guess we'll do it. I mean... 5 memories isn't many compared to getting the rest of them back now."

Mnemosyne purred softly and walked towards the two boys, everyone else parting out of the way because her cloak was far too similar to the River Lethe to be safe.

"How very brave of you. That is the right choice. At least... it definitely is for you, Jason. However, Nico, you need to know that it was you that caused the two of you to lose your memories. You jumped into the river Lethe voluntarily, seeking to forget everything about yourself. Jason was merely trying to stop you and got sucked in as well. Knowing that... do you still believe you want to remember? You could start over, be a different person with a different life and none of the extra baggage."

Nico seemed to stew over that, the wheels turning visibly in his head.

Jason looked determined as ever. "Return my memories to me," he said, extremely sure of himself. "I jumped in to save Nico, right? That means I must care about him a lot. So if you give me back my memories I can convince Nico that he deserves to have his memories."

Mnemosyne looked incredibly pleased. 

"Very well, Jason Grace," she said softly, lifting her hand and placing her fingers to Jason's forehead. His eyes went wide and a brilliant white light erupted from his eyes and mouth, blinding Piper for a couple seconds. When she blinked the stars from her vision, Jason was on his hands and knees, panting and gasping for air. He looked around wildly and scrambled to his feet when he saw Nico, grabbing him by the shoulders. 

"Gods you're an idiot!" he shouted. "Forgetting isn't the answer! You have to fight past the bad stuff and find new things to make you smile. If your past hurts then don't think about it until the hurt is gone. Maybe the hurt will never got away but sometimes that's a good thing. Nico, you precious, idiotic child. You're 14 years old! I don't care that you're technically 80 or something, you're 14 and you should not be acting like the world is ending because of a stupid kiss! I will  _not_ allow yourself to throw everything away just because of some teenage angst! What about your sister? What about us? What about  _me?_  Gods, Nico, you do stupid things to my brain. Hazel loves you, your sister loved you,  _I_ love you, which is stupid. I am now responsible for you and I'm not letting you do this to yourself. Let the nice lady give you back your life and let's move on... let's create new memories, happier memories because I  _need_ to see you smiling."

Piper wiped a tear from her eye and bit her lip to stop herself from crying. She had never seen something like this before. Nico looked shocked and so incredibly confused. 

"I want to remember," he whispered. "With... with someone like you beside me, why would I want to forget?"

Jason let out a soft laugh, looking thoroughly deflated. Mnemosyne smiled and lifted her fingers to Nico's forehead. Piper had the common sense to close her eyes this time.

* * *

"You know you could go dance, right?"

Nico huffed and shrugged, arms crossed over his chest as he sat leaning against Jason's side. Jason chuckled and took another sip of his Kool-Aid (curtasy of Dakota). 

Nico had lost 5 memories of Bianca(Jason had finally learned her name). He had many more, but he'd lost the ones that evoked the least painful emotions. Nico didn't really talk about his sister any more. It made Jason sad, but he knew that he was going to have to work on getting the remaining memories of her to not be so painful for him. He had made it his life goal to make Nico di Angelo happy.

"I don't dance, Jason."

Jason rolled his eyes. "Yeah, neither do I but you saw me out there with Piper not 5 minutes ago. Come on, man, it will be fun."

Nico looked unbelievably skeptical. 

Jason grinned and stood quickly, causing Nico to slide sideways. Jason grabbed Nico's hands and pulled him to his feet, yanking him onto the center of the amphatheatre that they were using as a dance floor.

"Jason," Nico said warningly. "No, n-no, Jason, No."

Jason promptly ignored him and grabbed him around the waist, swaying him back and forth, much to the amusement of everyone watching and the embarrassment of the boy in his arms.

"Gods, you are going to be the death of me," Nico muttered, hiding his face in Jason's chest, but Jason could feel him smiling a little.

Jason grinned. "That's the plan."

**Author's Note:**

> There is a second chapter, don't freak out. I just wanted to get something up before I went to school.


End file.
